Dating Expert & Relationship Expert Stephany Alexander – Bio

May 19, 2009

The Right Way to Break Off a Relationship

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Right Way to Break It Off

 There often comes a time in relationships where you know it just isn’t going to work out. If for whatever reason you find it time to break up, you need to know the right way to break off a relationship. Breaking up is harder for some people than for others but no matter which type of person you are, it still helps to know the right ways to break it off cleanly.

Here are some things you should know if you feel it’s time to call it quits:

• Don’t just ignore him. Refusing to return calls, ignoring your boyfriend and avoiding him hoping he will get the hint is immature and impolite. Regardless of your reasons for breaking up, you owe it to yourself to have the respect to let him know. Not to mention, if you simply wait for him to "get the hint" it could take awhile and this could be more annoying and bothersome than simply sitting down and telling him the truth.
• Make up your mind. Don’t be one of those women who says she’s going to break it off and then makes up a few days later. Reconciliation is one thing but the continuing flip-flopping of an on-again, off-again relationship is not healthy for anyone (including your friends who have to hear about it!). If you’re going to break up, make up your mind and then follow through.
• Don’t break up over the phone. Especially do not leave a phone message, text message or email to break up with your partner. Part of being a mature and stable adult is learning to handle all situations with maturity and grace, even the negative ones. If you worry about how your boyfriend will handle the news of a breakup, you can bring along a friend or meet in a public place but don’t cop out and do it in a message.
• Don’t break up through a friend. On the same note of the point above, don’t send a friend to break the news or tell his friend to tell him you don’t want to see him anymore. Also so don’t try to get him to break up with you by your actions. If you’re dissatisfied, take responsibility of your own feelings and just let him know.
• Always be clear. Be sure you let your man know that’s over. Let him know in no uncertain terms that you have no desire to see him anymore. Phrases such as "I just need some space" or "I need some time to get my head together" will lead him on or make him think there is still a chance if he waits for you. Be blunt and allow him to move on as well.
• Offer a reason. Have you ever been dumped without a reason? Think of how you agonized over the issue, wondering what it is you did to mess up the relationship. Offer your man a reason for why you’re calling it off. Keep it simple; there’s no need to insult him or point out any and every flaw. Just tell him how you feel and why you think it isn’t working out and the relationship is beyond repair. Don’t allow him to think that if he changes somehow, you can get back together.
• Avoid breakup sex. When it’s over; it’s over. Resist the urge to have one last romp on your way out. This will only confuse him, lead him to believe you’ve changed your mind or leave you feeling guilty and sleazy. Break it off and walk away.

While breaking up is usually never a fun or easy thing to do, you will feel better about yourself and the situation when you follow these steps to the right way to break off a relationship.